Lately I have been struggling with a few things in my life that aren’t going exactly well or how I planned. Even though I have lots of good things going on like getting my workouts in, achieving a huge financial hurdle, and writing this blog, I also have some drama going on. That is life – you have high points and low points it won’t all be perfect and happy at the same time. We all are dragging baggage around or fighting a battle no matter how great things might look on the surface we are human after all.
My drama has given me a bad negative attitude lately that has started to affect the high points in my life. I haven’t been myself and have wanted to give up and throw in the towel a couple of times. This morning after the dream I had I got the wake up call that I needed. Before I explain my dream I have to give you a little background first.
My dad passed away in 2006 from a sudden heart attack at the age of 55. I was always a daddy’s girl so it was really hard on me. Even after my parents got divorced my dad was still a big influence in my life. Ever since I was a kid my dad always pushed me to challenge myself and be the best I could. He knew when I was down and in a slump and always knew how to get me out. He never let me quit anything and made me follow through with every commitment I made. Without him I wouldn’t be who I am today – I wouldn’t constantly challenge myself and strive to be my best.
We used to travel a lot together – he would take me to visit places and go in the most hole in the wall places that would end up to be amazing. Places I would never even think about trying or going in just by the way it looked! He had a way of humbling me like that and without it I wouldn’t have had those experiences.
I have only had 3 dreams about him since he’s passed and this morning was one. Like in life, we were walking in some place we were visiting just chatting not really about anything specific. Sometimes I would lead where we went and sometimes he guided the way – just casually walking taking in the sights. We went into this hole of a wall place and in the back was a huge window with the most amazing view. I turned around to say Dad look at this and he was gone. I looked back out the window and took in the beautiful mountain and ocean view. As I stood there by myself I felt calm and confident.
He still knows when I am down in a slump and he still knows how to get me out. And just like in life, he has humbled me and given me the confidence to push through and not give up. I needed his visit. I needed to be myself again. I needed to see past the negative.
I woke up 2 minutes before my alarm went off at 4:30. I laid there until it went off and I jumped out of bed to get ready for the gym. I am filled with positive energy and ready to take on the day! Even if things are out of my control I am not going to let it change who I am.
Love you Dad.